All This Ticking: Book One

My ability to see things in slow motion came from my boss, Vincent. Vincent has two faces. One side is beautiful and the other side is UGLY. Vincent is two-faced because when he was a little kid he ran into the street and two cars crashing into each other. One car was carrying toxic waste, and Vincent’s skin was exposed to chemicals.

One day, I was working in the secret lair with Vincent, and I made a huge mistake. I colored the walls maroon instead of red. I was terrified, because Vincent is a picky person.

When Vincent noticed that I made a mistake, he showed me his UGLY face and made me into a villain that could control time and see things in slow motion. Since Vincent made me see things in slow motion, my life has changed. There are some pros and some cons.


  • I can cut lines in Dunkin’ Donuts
  • I work more quickly than anyone else


  • I have to wait forever for my date to get ready.
  • I have to wait extra long for the PS5 to come out.

I continued to work with Vincent because I had a good salary. Vincent is powerful, so life working at the lair has been the worst. He gained his abilities by creating a dungleberry made with junk that he found. This machine allows people to hook themselves up, wait 2,000 hours, and then gain a power.

Now Vincent has the new ability to strike with lightning. He struck me with lightening, but I absorbed it. Now I have the ability to turn people beautiful. I froze two-faced Vincent and blasted him with my beautiful powers. Now Vincent doesn’t have the ability to turn people ugly anymore. I was the HERO — the powerfulest hero in the world.

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All This Ticking: Book One

A Public Service announcement from the 826 Boston Student Editorial Board. Warning: This book contains EXTREMELY high levels of awesomeness. Reading this book may cause time skipping or spontaneous time travel. You may experience unexpected premature wrinkling or new baby smell. This book may contain points for portals to distant lands and time. 826 Boston and its authors are not liable for any Columbus-related injuries, Roman jeering, or unfortunate 80s fashion choices you may encounter as a result of unauthorized use of these coordinates. This book may inspire especially strong desires to cure the ills and injustices of the past, present, or future. Proceed with caution and our full support. This book may make you too happy. If so, seek your doctor ASAP (because she should read it, too).

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